Infinite Love
by lovelizgillies
Summary: There's something seriously wrong with Jade and this time Beck might not be able to fix her. Warning; character death.
1. Chapter 1

**/Jade/**

Pain rushed through me. It surged in my veins and crushed my lungs. It twisted my stomach and bruised my skin. I was finding it hard to stand, my body weakened, I couldn't bear it. I was slowly deteriorating and my happiness decomposed inside of me and I didn't know why it was happening. I tried to call for Beck but nothing was coming out. I took one last breath. I just saw black and heard the distant noises of screams as my body hit the ground. Then everything went quiet and nothing was okay anymore.

* * *

**/Beck/**

I was getting books and notes from my locker for Sikowitz's class as Tori approached me with her casual grin that's constantly printed across her face.

"Hey Beck!" She chirped at me, giving me one of those girly finger wave things that pretty much every girl does apart from Jade.

"Heeey Tori, what's up?" I said whilst closing my locker at the same time.

"Not much really, you ready for Sikowitz's big pop quiz on William Shakespeare? Cuz he really confused me when he said about th-"

Tori's voice was cut off by what seemed like a thud and then plenty of high pitched screaming. I remember thinking how strange it was. We were about to go and investigate what happened when some girl who looked about two or three years younger than me ran over to us in hysterics.

"Woah, woah, calm down and tell me what's wrong?" Even though I had no clue who this girl was, it was clear she was after me and something wasn't right.

"BECK? BECK OLIVER? YOU'RE JADE WEST'S BOYFRIEND, RIGHT?" Oh god. It wasn't Jade. It couldn't be Jade.

"SHE JUST PASSED OUT ON THE HALLWAY FLOOR NEAR ROOM 182 AND SHE'S NOT BREATHING AND EVERYONE JUST KEEPS SCREAMING, WE DIALLED 911 SO THEY SHOULD BE HERE SOON BUT WERE ALL SCARED AND JADE NEEDS YOU!"

It was Jade.

The feeling I got when that random witness spoke those words is something indescribable. The only thought rushing through my head was that she had dropped down dead right then and there. I blinked to check if I was sleeping, I thought this kind of shit only happened in dreams?

So I ran. I ran faster than anyone in Hollywood, tears blocking my vision as they built up and rolled over onto my face. Her name repeated itself in my head as I practically threw myself up the stairs and through the corridors, desperate for my baby girl to be okay.

And as I turned the corner to the door of Room 182, my heart almost tore itself in two. There she was, my beautiful girl dressed in black laid lifeless on the corridor floor, a sea of people surrounding her from every angle, screaming.

"JADE!" I couldn't have screamed it any louder and people winced but I couldn't care less. I needed her. I dived through the crowd of people and landed at her side. I cradled her whilst my tears hit her dying face. I sung to her quietly, and old nursery rhyme that she loved because it sounded creepy, which kept me sane whilst I rocked her back and forth.

"_Round and round the mulberry bush  
The monkey chased the weasel.  
The monkey stopped to pull up his socks  
And pop goes the weasel._"

The whole crowd of people turned to a deadly silence. I refused to let go of her even when the paramedics came, I held her so tightly and I was scared to let go.

One minute she was fine, then the next she's dying. Like a rose, you leave it a beautiful beaming red with moist green stalks and when you wake up there's a colourless, lifeless plant slowly wilting towards it's death.

The devil had thrown an ice cold bucket of reality over me that day, and I was slowly freezing in the pits of this hideous, ugly world.

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**hey everyone:-) this could be a oneshot or i might follow on with more chapters depending on the feedback i get, so if you want more, review it and tell me what you think. i love you all3**


	2. Chapter 2

**/Jade/**

After regaining what can only be described as half conciseness, I could hear, smell and feel, but I couldn't see or move. The first thing that came to mind was that I'd died. No, wait, I was in an ambulance. I guessed quickly due to the sirens and the machines being hooked up to me. I wanted to scream at all the doctors around me telling them I was okay and I could hear them and feel them and smell all the anti-bacterial chemicals but nothing would come out, only emotions and thoughts buzzing round in my mind. It felt like being buried alive deep underground where nobody could hear me screaming and begging to get out. Someone was holding my hand, why would a _doctor_ be holding my hand? After a few minutes of confusion and hurt I blacked out again into a sleep deeper than you can describe.

* * *

**/Beck/**

They let me go in the ambulance with her because I wouldn't let go. I'm not going to let go either. I held her hand whilst they worked on her to find out what was wrong. "Jade please wake up, tell me what happened, I love you." I whispered into my beautiful girlfriend's hand. The most painful thing out of it all was the fact that I didn't even know what happened or why it had happened in the first place. She was just going up to talk to her Math teacher about her grades when it happened. I had been with her moments ago and she was fine. I didn't understand.

Machines beeped and the oxygen mask sucked air in and out of her, helping her breathe. Y'know, people don't understand how much things mean to them before they go away. Like you don't think much about a light bulb, but when it flickers out you're left in complete darkness and you never realized how much you needed it until it was gone. But Jade was much more than a measly light bulb, she was my air.

We were almost at the hospital now, we had to be. It wasn't like I was keeping track of time though; I was preoccupied.

I still hadn't stopped crying.

"You're going to have to let go." One of the slightly panicky and sweaty doctors told me.

"Do you even know how much I love this girl? She's there to cheer me up on the darkest of days; she finds the good in me even when I thought there was none. There aren't words to describe how beautiful she is to me and to everyone else around her. She's my absolute everything and without her I'm nothing. There's no point in even being here without her. There's not a chance in Hell I'm letting go of this girl."

He looked at me a little stunned before putting his hand on my shoulder and nodding politely.

"Thank you." I muttered, a little embarrassed by the random outburst I just had about my love for the girl next to me.

No matter what happened, I was _not _letting go.

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**so i got some nice positive feedback on this so i thought i would continue and turn it into a multichapter story, hope i havent disapointed anyone:( remember guys r&r and you all get cookies;) morgan xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**/Jade/**

I wake up from my sleep to that familiar feeling again. I can't see or move, just hearing, smelling and feeling. I find that hand still clutched tightly onto mine. It can't be a doctor, I'm sure of that now. I just want to open my eyes and hug them for clinging so tightly onto me and not letting go, whoever they are. But for whatever reason, I just can't. My body feels heavy and my eyelids just won't open. I can hear the doctors explaining what's happened to me. They're talking to the person holding my hand.

"Jadelyn has had quite a major heart scare; it had given up on her completely until we got it beating again with the defibrillator. The cause is most likely stress or anxiety as it's not common for a girl her age to have difficulties of the heart. She has fallen into a coma and will most likely stay that way for a while until her body starts functioning properly again. Do you need to call anyone to come down to the hospital, her parents or a sibling maybe?"

"No, they moved away a while ago. It's just me."

And that little response was enough to lighten my spirits by about a thousand times, no matter what my condition.

It was Beck's voice.

But he sounds so broken.

* * *

**/Beck/**

My heart dropped and shattered as the doctor told me what happened earlier in the day. A million tiny pieces of my heart flung about inside of me, an unfixable casualty. I forced back ice cold tears before I managed to squeeze out an answer to the doctors question.

"No, they moved away a while ago. It's just me."

I was choking on tears like food lodged in my throat. I couldn't bear it any longer and after a moment or pure silence I heaved out tears and cries, but I didn't care anymore, because everything was falling apart. I sobbed into the palm of my hand whilst the other one squeezed Jade's hand tighter than before and I let out a sigh of pain, feeling completely helpless. I wrapped both my arms around my beautiful, still girl and pressed my cheek against hers.

The doctor looked at me with pity and left awkwardly, leaving me in the room with just her. I kissed her lips softly, just hoping she could wake up right then. She just lay there with the same look of peace spread across her gorgeous face.

The machines beeped a beautifully soft melody, the melody of the beating heart. Jade's beating heart.

Then I just laid with her for hours sobbing into her silky hair, the nurses came and went but I didn't. I would stay here every day for as long as it takes.

Maybe I should be in a coma instead. Then the pain would stop, I would be peaceful at last.

I am broken without her.

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**thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed :) reviews are the best:) all my reviewers are amazing but special thanks to: itsliz, Lara Julibee and AODiva1978 for reviewing on more than one chapter, you guys rock:) read and review kiddas!:')**


	4. Chapter 4

**/Beck/**

It's been a few days now. Jades still not awake and I haven't left her side. I stopped going to school, too, but nobody seems to mind. The others have come and gone, Tori brought her a card and a scented candle that smelled of toffee, Cat bought some beautiful Stargazer Lillies that Jade loves. The other's brought little gifts too. Why are they getting her stuff? This is the furthest from a celebration.

The doctors told me that there was a large chance that Jade could hear what was going on around her, so I've been talking to her a lot. I try to keep up conversation with her just so we have something nice to talk about to struggle through the day with. My favourite talks are when I tell her about when we grow old together, what we'll do and what we'll see. I tell her all my plans for our future, because neither of us are going anywhere without each other. But the best thing of all is when nobody's around I climb into her hospital bed and just lay with her and cuddle with her and pretend she's okay. The cuddles are always nicest.

"How are we doing today beautiful?" I give her a quick peck on the cheek as I wake up from my doze. She doesn't answer, obviously.

"Cat bought you some lillies, stargazers in fact. They look lovely in the room, really brightens the place up a little." I give a weak smile. Am I slowly going crazy?

There's silence as I wait for a reply that I know isn't going to come.

I'm talking to nobody. It feels like it. But I know that somehow, she's listening. She's there.

"Are you there, Jade?" I ask as if she's going to say anything in return.

_Never doubt, Beck, of course she's there._

The words rattle in my conscience for a while. I know she's listening. But I just want her to look at me and tell me she is.

* * *

**/Jade/**

I just want to jump up and kiss him and tell him I'm here but nothing's working. Everything's closing in slowly and I want to break out of these walls and be awake again. But that's not going to work, because nothing ever goes right when you're Jade West.

_I'm here Beck. I'm here. I love you._

If only I could say them words out loud. Please, just let me wake up. Why is my own body doing this to me? Sure, I got mad a lot of the time and I wasn't exactly calm but why would my heart just give up? I _hate_ feeling so helpless. I just listen to the beeping of the heart monitors and the slow dripping of the IVs, because Beck isn't talking anymore. I love it when he talks to me; it makes me feel like there is hope at last, like I'm not alone anymore.

But I'll just listen to the heart monitor for now while he thinks or whatever he's actually doing.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._ _Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-_

Wait, what's it doing? There's a crushing feeling in my chest as the machine processes a long flat noise, and I hear Beck screaming and crying for doctors but I don't think anyone's coming. The noise keeps on coming and coming, but it seems to be getting quieter as I begin to fall down. I'm falling faster now, feeling free and weightless, but I'm not some sort of happy, flying fairy. I'm a soul slowly being ripped from its body. Beck's holding me tighter and tighter and crying uncontrollable sobs into my neck as I flat line. I hear the doctors running now. But it feels like it's too late. There are distant noises coming from a faraway place and I'm falling further and further into the unknown.

So this is what it feels like to die.

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**thanks for reading:) i only got two reviews for the last chapter, im sorry guys it was just a filler in chap.3 just so you understood what was going on, sorry if it was boring:( read and review because you're awesome and leave any questions about me or my writing in the review box and i will answer:) love you all x**


	5. Chapter 5

**/Beck/**

I barely even notice at first when the heart monitor flat lines.

I'm just looking at her beautifully pale face, thinking that things might actually be getting better for us. Then it turns grey, and greyer, and greyer, and I hear the consistent beep that lets me know her life is about to end. My heart drops and my ribcage implodes with pain and fury all at once.

"JADE! JADE! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP HER!"

Panic surges through me and I don't feel in control of myself anymore. I'm hitting the emergency button over and over again now, even though the nurses are already rushing into the room with the defibrillator to try and save Jade with.

"Clear!"

Zap.

Nothing happens, she's still dead.

_Dead. _

The word rings in my temples. Jade West is not dead. She can't die, not now, it's not time. She has so much time to live, so many years to make memories, to travel the world with me like she promised, to become the actress she's always dreamed of being. My beautiful, loving, perfect girlfriend will not die in front of me.

But Jade has always been defiant.

Zap.

Zap.

Zap.

"I'm terribly sorry, there's nothing more we can do."

I'm struggling. My legs are weakening and I'm not quite sure what to make of anything. She is my everything; she will never stop being my everything. I will never hear that laugh again, or feel her breath on the back of my neck when she cuddles up close to me at night. I will never see her smile or look into her sea green eyes and see them looking back.

But most of all, I will never hear her sing again, the only thing that ever really kept me sane when I was at the lowest of lows. The thing that helped me through so many sleepless nights, so many countless arguments with my parents. And now, when I need it most, I just can't have it.

The room spins and I fall to the floor, feeling pain I can't even describe.

__Come back.

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_hello readers! thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter, and a special thanks to karlaserna who reviewed all four chapters, its reaaaally appriciated!:) a lot of you were concered that this story is coming to an end, seriously don't worry there's plenty more:) ok so it's nearly four in the morning and i need sleep, so g'night:)xox_

_ps; sorry jade died i know a lot of people didn't want it to happen but this story is already planned:( :( :(_


	6. Chapter 6

**/Beck/**

She was a rose. A beautiful red rose, prickly and sharp to touch, but once fully understood can be warm, sweet, and most of all, beautiful. No matter how hard I try tears won't stop falling and I'm starting to ache. I want to stop and just lay down and sleep but it's hard when the person who was always there next to you isn't there anymore.

I didn't want to call the others to tell them what had happened, it seemed so disrespectful. So I texted all of them a simple message;

_Meet at RV. Come quick._

_Beck_

As expected I was quickly met by a hurried group of my best friends all wondering what was so urgent, for all they knew Jade was a tucked up in a hospital bed cosy and breathing.

"Is everything OK Beck?"

"How's Jadey?"

"Are we going to the hospital to see her?"

Some furious overlapping questions were thrown at me before all the noise died down. I looked at all of their faces individually. Cat was looking up at me eagerly waiting for the news about her best friend's condition, her big brown eyes glowing with excitement and cluelessness. Andre looked hopeful yet a tinge of sadness from everything that had happened hinted in his face. I thought he never even liked Jade. Tori's face was puffy and red, she had definitely been crying. Typical Tori to be the stressed upset one. And then Robbie. He was shy and secluded, his head tilted to the floor, his hands entwined in each other. Something wasn't right with him, but now was not the right time to find out what.

A deadly silence drifted through the RV before I spoke.

"Jade, she-

I couldn't finish my sentence because tears started falling again and I began to choke on my words. I forced myself to speak again.

"She's gone."

Tori burst into tears, followed by Cat. They leaned in and held each other tightly, letting themselves collapse completely. It was so horrible to watch, I wished there was something I could do to make everything better again but nothing could fix the dark, empty pit our lives had become.

"Make Jadey come back Beck, she went before even saying goodbye, please Beck make her stay instead!" Cat's hysterical cries plucked at my feelings like a dagger to the heart and I burst into tears once again. Andre tried comforting me, who had recently had his head in his hands, rubbing his forehead furiously as if trying to erase what I had just told him.

Robbie, however, stared into space with a vacant look, before getting up and leaving quietly without saying a word. I figured it was his way of dealing with the pain.

And whilst we all sat distraught by the news, the one thing we all needed to make us better, we could never have.

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_**hiii, im so sorry for the long wait i get writers block so much and i honestly can't write anything when it happens:(:( thank you for all the reviews, they mean alot:) lotsa love x x x**_


	7. Chapter 7

**/Robbie/**

I can't help but blame myself. It's killing me knowing I could have stopped this. But I didn't. And I'm dying inside. I've cried for so many hours over it and I have no idea how to tell anyone about it.

I'm so, _so _sorry Beck Oliver. I'm sorry for ruining your life.

* * *

**/Beck/**

I've been praying recently. I pray for happiness, for joy and life. Mostly I pray for Jade, but then again Jade is all of those things.

_Was. _

Was all of those things.

I keep forgetting.

She's a _was_ now. She's no longer an _is_. Because she's tucked up in a morgue somewhere waiting to be buried. And nobody can change that.

She's a _was_.

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_**A very teeny tiny chapter just to quickly fill in about Robbie since a lot of you have been asking about him. I guess i've left you at a cliffhanger. Hehe. I promise the next chapter will be MASSIVE. Thank you for all your lovely reviews, and i'm sorry that some of you are angry about Jade's death but thats how the story is and if you don't like me or the story because of that then no need to review about how much you hate me haha:)**_

_**Okay so im introducing a question of the chapter:)) Leave me an answer with your review:)**_

The question is: Who do you ship the most out of all the character on Victorious?

_**Byebye amigos happy reviewing;) x x x**_


	8. Chapter 8

**/Cat/**

Y'know when you sit on your foot and you get those horrible tingly little sharp points in your feet that don't go away until you walk around? I feel like that now, all over. My body is all tingly and awful and numb. It won't go away either.

I asked God for something yesterday. I'm not really sure if he's actually real or not because my Daddy told me there was; 'no such thing as God in this hell hole' before he left us, but I'm so desperate for something that I gave it a shot. I asked him for a little while longer with Jade. Just a little bit, not a lot, just enough time to tell her how much I loved her and just enough time for a cuddle. Because I miss those.

Singing doesn't even make me want to smile anymore. Or dancing, or acting. I just want to curl up into a little ball and sleep. It's the only way I get to see Jadey in some way. She comes into my dreams and she looks floaty and happy and she tells me everything is going to be okay. Those dreams make me want to smile lots and lots!

Then I wake up. I remember everything and don't want to smile.

* * *

**/Andre/**

I don't want to think about anything anymore. I keep having nightmares and I can't stop them, I don't even try to wake up anymore. All of my nightmares have been better than what's happening in the real world, so I kind of enjoy them. I make the most of them.

I loved her. Everyone knew about it but her. Her eyes, her smile, her everything. She just seemed beyond perfect to me, a girl worth a million songs. Someone so unique a whole new melody could be made up from a batter of her eyelashes. I try not to think about that too much though, because it only messes my head up more than it already is. I try thinking about food, my grandma, my friends, school.

None of that even matters though because the most important thing in my life is gone. I can't even get her back and tell her how much she means to me.

* * *

**/Tori/**

I don't even want to be alive. My palms are shaking and my head is light and dizzy. Everyone is falling apart around me and I can't cope. I'm the one who's supposed to make everything better all the time but this time I can't. And that fact alone makes me want to die.

I don't come out of my room much anymore. I can't face the world in the state I'm in. I just stare at the picture on my window sill. It's a cute snap of the whole gang last year when we went to the beach, there had been a heat wave and we got stuck in Beck's RV and things got so crazy. It was taken after we got out, were all laid on the sand looking up at the camera and we all look so happy. Beck is cuddling Jade on the towel they're laid on and they're laughing so hard. Me and Andre are sticking our tongues out at the camera and Cat looks like she's squealing whilst Robbie tickles her.

I just want that back.

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**i am so so so sorry for the longest wait ever! i just get distracted by everything and writers block and just... sorry:(  
i hope you enjoyed and next chapter will be a beck/robbie povs chapter:)  
question of the chapter; whos your favourite fanfic writer?:)  
love you all:) x x x**


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